...with scars and a will to keep ongoing. I have had one bumpy ride this last year, and this year requires, I believe, the same stubborn fortitude that kept me going last year when I could barely stand. A triple bypass surgery, expertly performed by a brilliant and world-recognized surgeon, still doesn't add up to a quick recovery. It is a year of pain and loss. Cardiac rehab has helped to give me back some sense of self, even though I still hurt, fall asleep at 6pm, forget words, names, even the days of the week. It's becoming vegan, so that I might hope to survive my father's heritage by giving up the foods that will harm me now. Though I might still sneak a small slice of rich buttery cake once in a while.