Insults: How Do I Detest Thee?

Admittedly these days, we hear so much name calling, but none of it is particularly appealing or original. There's no juice or fun in it. Instead, it's boring and predictable. I have always loved how Italians invent so many juicy and spicy ways to insult each other.  It is considered a contest to see which aggrieved person can fling the most ludicrous insult and shut down the argument immediately.  This is an older post -- but still helpful if one is fed up with the usual boring, woke insults we hear today.  And after re-reading the list and laughing my head off, I will start reintroducing these insults into my usual vernacular, which has relied on "aw fuck" for too long. 

 

Quite a few reviews of The Innamorati mentioned with some glee and the occasional admiration the insults hurled back and forth between characters in the novel. Many of them are historical, taken from various Renaissance story-telling traditions. Some belong to the Commedia dell'Arte, and some I invented simply because I found myself caught up in the spirit of colorful, scatological (so many ways to use shit), and wildly creative name-calling. The Commedia performances and the Renaissance tales were meant to elicit laughter -- and lots of it -- the cruder, the better. Even today, Italy has a vibrant culture of insulting, in word and gesture, and modern-day grandmothers can shame rebellious youth with a savage insult. So here is a list of some of them, mostly from research and some from my imagination that made it into the novel. 

 

Pox-faced shiteater

Pezzo di merda (piece of shit)

Cazzone cafone (peasant dickhead)

Piece of Spanish shit!

Italian sop

Paella-breath

Pasta-head

Crab louse, get off my tits

Pus-plague sore

Fuck off, you shitty bed-pissing hangman's knot

You slimy snot-nosed, prickless son of a bitch

Old nun's fart

Testa di merda (shit head)

Tool of another's lust

Drawbridge mouth that's always open

Stinking sardine

Bowel builder

Graveyard asparagus

Jabbering dildo

Plague-louse

Pig's spit

Pile of rotten straw

Brothel-bred northern-shithead

Syphilitic southern trash sired by a hundred fathers

Spawn of a jackass

Diaper-assed boy

Piss-pot

Son of a taxed woman (a prostitute)

Blood-sucking witch

Baby-smotherer

Shit-dressed

Wicked and libidinous wolf